Twin Sheets on a Queen sized Bed

Common Wisdom is often the eccentric habit. One of the most eccentric habits of all is the use of queen sized sheets on a queen sized bed.  It’s seemingly too silly for one who’s broken out of that olden-times tradition – but as usual, habit entrained people cannot get out of the box they’re in.  It’s the cause for so many divorces.

So, of course a single queen sized sheet on a queen sized bed will cause enormous turmoil.  It’s obvious.  The man is usually the culprit.  He scrunches up a bit of the sheet’s material – grasping it in his fist just as he goes to sleep.  Then, still holding onto the bed covering, he rolls over onto his belly, exposing his naked, now freezing wife.  Bitterness ensues.

I like to think I’d always use two twin sheets, to keep my marriage intact.  We shouldn’t be such  slaves to our habits.  Now, there is genius in the use of two sheets far beyond the saving of marriages.  There’ll be savings on water and electricity costs too!  The reason?

Of course the reason relates to another of those ridiculous habits we have, which like some sort of religious cult powered mind control – it precludes our thinking – such that we can’t get our heads around the wastefulness of the bath towel.  This author has not used a bath towel in years.  I just drag my twin sheet off to the bathroom, and drape it over the empty towel bar.  It’s so luxurious – beating any full sized bath sheet – even the plushest Egyptian cotton ones.  I have nice flannel twin sheets to effect this marvelous result.  I can have material covering every inch of my body.  Then, I toss it into the laundry.

A second benefit to the twin flannel sheet bath towel is the fact that I always sleep on clean sheets.  Now, granted that the person whose proclivity includes eating crackers in bed every night will not experience the same results.  The same might be said for people who have forgone their sleep for some particular purpose – but let’s not go there.

As a disclaimer, I must suggest that converts to this efficient green-bath, marriage saving way of life not walk with their twin sheets dragging on the floor.  That’d be icky – and of course – it could make one’s feet stumble over the thing – causing a fall onto one’s face.  Warning is hereby given that this author isn’t actually making a suggestion to use his techniques – wink, wink – and it’s the reader’s own responsibility to do stuff safely if he for some reason takes an idea he’s read on some random blog like this one.  Very random, and proud of it.

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